Tag Archives: funny

Today In A History With Facebook: Frisky Old Ladies

1985 was a great year in almost any way you look at it. Goonies and Back to the Future introduced new adventures to all of us, Microsoft released their very first Windows, and the Titanic was finally found. On September 14 of 1985 we watched for the first time a bunch of old ladies living their golden years to the fullest. Golden Girls.

whit

The Snowman Who Had No Face

Image

 

It was that time of year again. Snow was covering the ground; kids were outside making snow forts and snow men. Having snowball fights, and sledding down dangerous hill on sleds they would only use once or twice. Stevie enjoyed this time of year for no other reason than it was during this time of year he really came to life.

            Steve was a snowman you see. Every time it snows he is reborn in a brand new body. Most people don’t realize this, but snowmen are just as alive as any one of us. Ask any child that hasn’t grown too old to remember, too old to imagine. Why do you think children make entire yards full of snowmen? It’s not because they like to be out in the freezing cold, it’s because their friends, the snowmen ask them to. Let’s be honest, no matter how old you get, you don’t want to be left alone in the dark. Snowmen need friends and that is what their human friends did for them. Made them friends to keep them warm (figuratively speaking of course) at night.

            Steve was re made again year after year but he could never do the many different things that the other snowmen got to do when their neighborhoods got dark. No one has ever really caught a snowman but there have been some close calls over the years. Once in the 80’s I remembered reading about a woman who lived in Michigan who swore that the snowman her grandchildren made that day was moving and getting closer and closer to the house every time she went to the bathroom. I might be wrong but I also remember reading how that story was the premise for a silly slasher horror flick called Jack Frost.

            If you were able to spy on the snowmen at night you would see them laughing and playing as children do in the day. I must admit it is pretty funny seeing a snowman throw a snowball at a snow kid. It’s not like they can catch them, they usually only have twigs for hands you know. When a snow kid catches a snowball it sort of just becomes part of them. It’s an amazing sight to see, to see one grow up before your very eyes. I imagine not many will see that though.

            Steve was never lucky enough to see any of these things though. He was never able to tell anyone how sad he was and he was never able to smile at the little girl that built him year after year. The girl was a poor girl who lost her father when she was only 3 years old. Her mother never let her use anything from the house to help her build the snowman, and she was never allowed out long enough to build more than one. She had no coat of course. So year after year Steve was remade but he never had a face.

            Steve wasn’t one to complain naturally, because he could not speak and therefore could not be heard. This was just how the world was to him, a dark place where he had no friends, and only the occasional touch of the little girl that made him year after year.

            This morning seemed different to Steve though. He could tell that the girl was the same girl that has always made him. That was how the magic worked. The same snowmen were reborn during each snowfall, because they would be made by the same hands. That’s all it took. No silly words from Harry Potter, or magical phrase by Santa Clause. It was what it was and that’s how the world worked.

            The girl put the finishing touched on Steve. A hat, a carrot for a nose, oranges for eyes, and a bright yellow banana that way he could smile as he saw the world for the first time.

            “There you go Steve,” she said, “I was never able to make him with a face when I was younger Rosey.”

            “Why not Mom?” the girl asked as she was putting the finishing touches on the lower portion of Steves body with her pink and purple poke o dot gloves.

            “Well when I was a little girl,” the grown up began, “I wasn’t allowed to use anything from the house on Stevie here. We didn’t have any money for anything extra, especially in the winter. I always felt bad for the snowmen I built because they could never see the world like I could.”

            “But we can Mommy?” Rose asked.

            Roses mother smiled, and you could tell that she was particularly proud of what she was about to say.

            “Well,” she said, “I knew that we never had the money when I was a girl like you. So I wanted to make sure that when I was a Mommy I could do this with my daughter just like I am right now. I wanted to be able to come out here with my daughter in her warm winter coat and build a snowman just like this.” She spread the last 3 words out as she pinched the cheeks of Rose.

            They didn’t see it but Stevie’s yellow smile grew a little bigger and shined a little brighter right then, as Mother and daughter turned and went inside the 2 story house on Elmview Drive.

            That night a dog came and accidentally broke Stevie down when he was trying to get the banana off of him. He didn’t care it was the best day of his life. He was reborn the very next day, but again things were different. When his eyes were in place (yellow ping pong balls this time), he saw he was surrounded by different snowmen, and snow boys, and snow girls, and it looked to him. That Rose and her mother were making him….A Snow wife!