Helpless

Image

 

I got the phone call late. It was a Thursday night; Friday morning maybe, I don’t know what you would call it. I just remember the look on her face when I got there. You know the term soul mates? You know that couple that you look at when you are at the mall and you hate them because they are so touchy, and kissy, and all of that other crap? Yep, that was probably us. The couple that was so damn happy nothing could separate us. Who knew a simple 20 feet could stop us.

The love story probably isn’t something you want to hear. I’m sure you have seen it all before in the countless movies that Hollywood is so intent on shoving down our throats. Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, and soon they fall in love. That is usually the part in the movie in which the boy loses girl though right? Then he does some off the wall crazy thing and they live happily ever after. Not this time, not this story.

We never really fought too often. It seemed we truly were meant to be. Somehow we managed to both blend so naturally into each other’s lives. My family loved her, just as hers loved me. Throughout our time together she was able to find out who her true friends were. Some of them turned from her in the short year in which we were together.

One of her friends, one she said she always loved like a sister, turned from her when the cancer first hit her. 25 years old and she had cancer. 25. Tell me how that is fair? Tell me how it is fair that one of the best people on earth should die at such a young age. Those are some of the questions I asked myself every day. Asking, why God would do this to her, what good could possibly come from something like this. As soon as her friend, the one she called a sister, found out she was sick, she walked away, she found new amazing friendships in her older friends. Ones that weren’t so . . . complicated I supposed.

We were only together about a year when the cancer hit her. She was bed ridden for the longest time. Her life seemed to be fading away faster than anything I had ever seen before. It all made sense though, she was suddenly weaker, tired all of the time, she couldn’t concentrate. There was nothing I could do. Nothing anyone could do. The doctors gave her just another year.

I stuck with her the entire time. We were that happy couples damn it. We were. We would be for as long as I could help it. It was so hard though. At times I wanted to walk away. At times I wanted the old her back.

She got better.

6 months later she just . . . got better. The cancer was gone, and things got back to normal. We were back to going to the drive-in. We were back to doing all of the things we always had done, as well as talk about the future. I remember one time she joked and told me she didn’t want to always be my girlfriend. We were in love after all, the one thing people truly in love always want . . . is simple. They want more.

Two years after our first kiss, I proposed marriage and we were engaged. All our dreams were coming true. She had her very own 2nd grade classroom, and I just got promoted at the factory. Then one night when I was at work, I got the call. 2 Am.

I left work, in a hurry, not waiting for my replacement to get there. She called and through hoarse breathes I heard here say, “Honey, please, get her our spot. I’m falling.”

I didn’t care if it was a joke or not. I thought maybe this was just her way of getting me to the spot. She had been complaining we don’t get to see much of eachother lately because of my work. As I drove I called her over and over again. Leaving voicemail after voicemail. Telling her this better not be a joke.

It wasn’t.

There is this spot in town, a lot of you may not know about. It’s on a cliff overlooking our small little town. There’s a gap in between 2 sides of the cliff about 20 feet or so. Our spot was kind of on each side honestly. The west side was where we first told each other we Loved the other, and the other spot was where I cried all night on her shoulder when my mother died.

I arrived at the west side and looked over. There she was.

“Sabrina,” I yelled, “don’t move, I’ll be right there.”

Through her tears I heard her yell, “There’s no time, I can’t feel my arms.”

“NO!” I yelled.

“I love you Mark,” she yelled as she turned her head to look at me, “I love you with my whole heart.”

I stood there, because I saw her fingers slipping. I saw her slowly letting go. I knew she couldn’t hold on long enough for me to get there to pull her up. I remember thinking what the hell was she doing up here anyway at 2 in the morning.

I watched helpless as her fingers started to slip. She started to let go. I was helpless.

She was helpless.

Advertisements

HEY! Tell me what you think, MUCH appreciated!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s